Tag: beach vacation

He Restores My Soul

Our family just got back from four days at the beach. We went to Hunting Island State Park in South Carolina and got a primitive tent site. When I was making reservations I just took the only site available for four days. And then took another site that was available for two days, since our family is too big to be in one site. Well, it turned out that site 25 and site 11 are right next to each other, so our family wasn’t spread out all over the campground. Also both sites were right next to the bathhouse and right next to the very short path that led to the beach. 

I loved being in the ocean. I grew up in Haiti and the sounds and smells of the beach feel like all the good things about childhood. The water was very warm, it wasn’t crowded, there were waves for the kids to play in, but it  stayed calm enough that they could swim safely. There was a brisk wind that blew all day. And our tent and the bathhouse were literally a sixty second walk away, so it was easy to go back to our site for lunch and snacks and bathroom breaks. 

The beach was awesome. 

Tent camping was not that great. 

The beach had wind, but there was a big sand dune separating the campground from the beach and it blocked all the breeze. Early in the morning and in the evening there were swarms of no-see-ums and mosquitoes. Our site had very little shade and our canopy with mosquito netting  was just tall enough that all the sun came in on the sides and we were constantly having to move our chairs to stay in the shade. At night there was no breeze and the temperature never went lower than the 80s. And the kids and I were not able to take the time to get the sand off our feet when we went into the tent because we were hurling ourselves through the barely unzipped opening to try and escape the swarms of bugs chasing us. Which meant that by the second night, my air mattress was covered in a fine silty layer of sand that, with the help of sweat, stuck to our whole bodies. 

Fortunately, we have friends who live in the area that we were also visiting and the second night my oldest child abandoned camp and went and slept at their house, then the third night the next four oldest joined them, and the last night, we said, forget this, and we all went and slept at their house. 😀 Hurray for friends. 

I loved being on the water, but on our last day, I was able to say confidently that I did not want to live near the beach. It was great for a visit, but it was really nice to get back to the mountains of East Tennessee. 

A verse has been going through my head the last week or so from Psalm 23. “He restores my soul.” I approached this vacation feeling like this trip was going to be part of the process of God restoring my soul. 

What I expected was paradise. 

As I lay in my bed the first night, so hot I couldn’t sleep. I thought about other people having beach vacations, staying in nice air conditioned hotels. And I thought, YES! But are they building character on their vacation??? We are building character by gum! And that really was what a lot of the trip was about. Being hot and tired and irritated and having to stop being snippy and be patient instead. Trying to keep a sense of humor. Not letting things slide into a complain-fest. It was a weird mix of unbridled joy as we frolicked on the sand and then everyone tired and grumpy as we tried to feed people and clean up for bed. I failed often, but I kept trying. 

Sitting back at home now, I do feel restored. More energetic, more purposeful. I think my path to restoration was getting unplugged (no phone service at camp!) and being immersed in all the senses and all the emotions. Feeling things strongly. Good things and bad things. Getting back into my body and mind instead of staying in a constant distracted or zoned out state. 

It was good. I’m thankful. 

The Lord is my Shepherd. He knows what I need. 

Fantasies of a Middle-Aged Housewife (G-rated)

Ever since I can remember, I have put myself to sleep at night making up stories where I’m the main hero. When I was a kid I would think about some great book I had just finished reading and I would re-imagine the story with me as one of the characters. I remember Little Men by Louisa May Alcott in particular. I was a tomboy and I loved imagining being part of the gang. I would spin stories in my mind till I fell asleep.

Today, as I waited in the car line to pick up my kids from school, I found my mind wandering, starting to make up a new story. What if, for some reason or other, I was taken away from my life to some resort-like place where I would be forced to undertake some drastic, but super-healthy, weight loss program, and also take yoga classes, and lift weights, and maybe start running again. And get plastic surgery for stretch marks, and, here’s the real amazing thing, get put under the charge of a dentist who would fix all my teeth and make them all white and straight and beautiful (because what middle-aged person doesn’t fantasize about having a fortune to pour into their teeth??) And of course there would be a beach nearby that I would walk on regularly until I had achieved complete inner peace. And then, after all that process was finished, and I now looked like one of those people out of magazines that you always secretly ooh and ahhh over, then I would go home to my loving family who somehow managed to be completely happy while I was away. And I would say Surprise! And they would be awed and amazed at this New Esther.

And then somewhere around there my fantasy fades out, because, in reality, my family doesn’t care a hoot what I look like, or how straight my teeth are, or whether I have stretch marks or not. And really, they wouldn’t be happy if I went away for any length of time. My family can hardly make it if I leave for the day.

But it’s fun to dream.

I think it’s funny what I fantasize about these days. Let’s see. I fantasize about having a housekeeper who lives with us and takes care of all the cleaning chores in the house (especially laundry and dishes!). In fact, I would take care of the grocery shopping and cooking, so I wouldn’t be considered completely lazy, just so I don’t have to clean.

How about this one? Enough money to take summer-long vacations with the family to exotic places all over the world.

Or, my toddler potty-training himself, in one day.

Here’s a good one. My husband handing me a large chunk of money and telling me he wants me to go to the beach by myself for a week, since I seem a little stressed lately. 🙂

How about hair that doesn’t turn grey and remains as thick and full as when I was 20?

My favorite one, children who never fight, always do their chores cheerfully, and love to help around the house.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t work this way. Usually, I can accept that with a philosophical shrug. Then I have days like today when I’m just unusually tired and really all I want to do is climb into bed and nap and read and eat take-out. But instead, I clean the house, bathe toddlers who rolled around in the mud, cook a healthy supper, and plan to be up till late at night as I divvy up my attention between all my kids.

Reality. It’s actually more fantastic that my fantasies. Who wouldn’t enjoy a long trip to a spa? Who wouldn’t flourish under that kind of care? The real amazing thing is being able to flourish and enjoy a day of hard work under less-than-ideal working conditions. To end the day satisfied and content despite the fact that I wasn’t pampered or given special consideration. That kind of reality can only come from the daily grace Jesus gives me. I’m so thankful for that grace and I’m clinging hard to it today. May I end the day thankful. That’s a fantasy worth pursuing.