Tag: gratitude

Wonderful Beautiful Monday

It’s a bright crisp Monday morning and I just got home from a two mile walk with my dog through the neighborhood. The sun was making the world glitter and the trees were just starting to show off their new autumn streaks of red and gold. It was cool enough to wear a thick sweater, but not freezing. Basically, just a perfect Fall morning. The song “To God be the Glory” has been running through my head since we sang it in church yesterday and I woke up humming it as I started my day. 

We had a really busy weekend and I’m looking forward today to just being home, keeping the laundry going, practicing piano, starting a new book I’m doing with a women’s bible study, maybe reading some more of my fun book I’m working on too. 

I feel happy. Joyful. And thankful. Because I know that this joy and happiness is a gift from God. It’s not my normal way of starting a Monday. The gift is that somehow God made himself present in my thoughts first thing today. Instead of waking up feeling tired and grumpy from having to get up early, stressing about the busy week ahead, I woke up singing. That was not something that I manufactured and did because I’m just a great person. Only the work of the Holy Spirit can make me wake up cheerful on a Monday morning. 😀

Last night before I went to bed, I finished the last chapter of “The Heart of Jesus How He Really Feels About You” by Dane Ortlund. I loved how the author ended the book. He concluded that instead of trying to figure out how we can take all the lessons we learned in the book and apply them to our lives, instead we just need to follow Matthew 11:28 and “Come to Jesus”. Bask in his love for us, his forgiveness, his heart for us. Just go to Jesus. Be with him. 

When you learn that Jesus is not angry with you. That his forgiveness is eternal, he is rich in mercy, that he yearns for us, that he is gentle and lowly, that his ways of loving and showing mercy are so much higher than our ways of loving and showing mercy. When you learn that he is gracious and slow to anger, that he is a tender friend, that his heart is beautiful. When you learn these things and then realize that you can actually spend every moment of your day with this God who loves you so richly. That you can talk to him and share your life with him, every good and bad moment. That you can spend your days seeing his goodness surrounding you and be able to thank him personally, and continually..Oh, what a wonderful day it is when you can live this out. 

This Monday is no different from any other Monday. There’s work to be done, stress to live through. Things will break. Money will come up short. Kids will fuss and fight. Bad news will show up. But, oh the difference, when you start the day with Jesus, feel his love, see his goodness. What a wonderful, beautiful Monday it is. 

Forgiven

I’ve had a bit of a rough week. Finding myself frozen in place where I can’t seem to do anything. This happens to me occasionally, and the hardest part is trying to figure out why am I acting like this? It feels like character failure. I’m being lazy. And then I get worried, am I slipping into a depression without even realizing it? I mentally explore all the sensitive areas in my brain, no everything feels pretty normal. Why can’t I get moving? 

And then I slowly start putting the pieces together. I realize that the old nighttime terror has returned, where I walk into my dark bedroom and I feel fear to the point of being nauseated. And I’im so used to dealing with this feeling that I just keep moving, get back into bed or turn on a light which then makes it go away. Then I find myself flooded with old memories that my brain keeps trying to process. Maybe if we just remember this one more time, it will make sense and it will go away. So I pull out my computer and write the memories down in an attempt to remove them from my head and place them into the safety of a computer program. 

And once I finally realize what is going on, I feel better. Ok. This is just that old thing that I have to go through occasionally. It will pass. 

This morning I sat eating my breakfast, thinking about all of this, and thinking about sin. Someone’s sin against me and then my reaction that led me to my own spiral of sins. And I just felt a rush of relief. Thank you God for Easter. Tomorrow we remember Jesus’ death on the cross. We mourn over the pain he had to suffer and we feel the deepest gratitude that he was willing to do this for us. It was the only action that could fix our sin problem. And then Sunday we will rejoice as we celebrate that Jesus came back to life and that death has been conquered and that we can look forward to an eternity with Him. 

What Jesus did was the only thing that can fix me. The only thing that was able to take me off a path of self-destruction and put me on a path of life. His forgiveness of my sins was the only thing that made it possible for me to forgive others when they sinned against me. And broke off the chains of bitterness. The Holy Spirit entering my life is the only thing that renews me, helps me to heal and grow and continues to show me the way of life. 

And I find myself singing, “Worthy is the lamb, Jesus son of God…” 

Luke 7: 36-50 tells a story about a woman who comes and washes Jesus’ feet with her tears and her hair and anoints his feet with perfume. The pharisee whose house they are in, thinks to himself, if Jesus was a prophet, he’d know this woman was a sinner. Then Jesus tells him a story about a banker with two men who owe him money, one a lot, the other not as much. The banker forgives both debts. Jesus then asks, which man is going to love the banker more? And the pharisee answers, the one who owed him more. Then Jesus says in verse 47 “I tell you that her many sins are forgiven, so she showed great love. But the person who is forgiven only a little will love only a little.”

I am the woman. Life is dark. We are sinned against from a young age and we sin against others from a young age. But Jesus came. He made a way so that we can be forgiven and healed. My many sins have been forgiven. And I pray that I may be like that woman, that I would respond with great love to Jesus. May my praise be an extravagant show of gratitude. May my actions be an anointing perfume that brings pleasure to my Lord.