Tag: homeschool books

Free House: Breaking the Stuff Connections

I went over this morning to the free house, my first time going solo without my husband. Last weeks’ goal was to clear a path to the front door, which I accomplished, yay! But, there was some strategy there. I wanted to be able to just walk in the front door instead of having to go through the basement, climb some questionable stairs, have to pass next to the really horrifying kitchen and then get to work. Andy found a mummified possum in the basement which he has removed, but my first acquaintance with the basement was with mummified possum intact which I had to carefully avoid looking at as I climbed the stairs, and honestly, I just found the whole thing a little creepy. So, the thought of working over there by myself meant I wanted a way to avoid the basement and kitchen, which is at the top of the basement stairs. 

So, today I walked in the front door! And straight into the living room. 

The living room was not as bad as the hallway. Less foodstuff. And everything was less compacted. I managed to clean it out in just under two hours. 

Which makes me a little sad. I found stuff on the bottom of the pile from 2002 which means this stuff has been accumulating for a long time. It only took two hours of work to make it all go away. Of course, it only took me two hours because I had no history with any of these belongings. I had no problem grabbing things and throwing them away. I found a good size pile of things that have never been opened and are still usable and I went and put them in our future yard sale pile, but I also found some things that were unopened but didn’t seem to serve any useful purpose, and I just tossed them. Cause I didn’t care. Those belongings had zero hold on me. 

I wonder how many problems we make for ourselves because we are so connected to our stuff? It has been a journey for me to let go of those connections. I remember when our first four or five kids were little. They could not keep their rooms clean. I could not keep their rooms clean. We simply had too many toys. And it’s not like I spent a lot of money on toys. In our culture, we have so much stuff that we are on a constant search for someone to give our stuff to. Hey, I’ve got a big box of really nice toys my kids don’t play with anymore, here, you can have them! And then suddenly, I have another big box of toys that I now need to find a home for, take care of and clean up every day. On one hand, it’s a blessing: Free entertainment for kids. On the other hand, that also translates to daily tears and frustration as mom and kids try to keep it all clean. 

Over the years I have slowly learned how to limit belongings, and also how to keep up with the belongings we do have. Lately, I’ve been dealing with my book connections. I have so many books in my home. Someone said that if you have more than 1,000 books it counts as a library. I have a library. Or, at least, I did. This summer I tackled my bookshelves. I got rid of a lot of my homeschooling supplies (after all, it has been eight years since I was homeschooling a crowd, four years since my last lone homeschooler went to school). I also got rid of a lot of early reader type books, because my youngest now reads long chapter books and isn’t interested in “Amelia Bedelia”. Sigh.  (Ok, confession, I did keep one bookshelf that has all the best read-aloud books, I’m still counting on grandkids coming over one day!) But, I managed to haul off several totes worth of books to the used bookstore. And my house is cleaner and easier to take care of because of it. 

The next belongings stronghold I need to tackle is memorabilia. Kids old school work and art work, old cards and letters, old programs from different events my kids have been in. I’m still really connected to all those things. This summer I bought a big tote and transferred several drawers and boxes worth of paper memories into the box, sealed it up and set it in the attic. With the hopes that I will leave it there for several years until I’ve forgotten about it and it no longer matters to me. At which point it will be easier to throw away. 

Stuff can make your life feel cozy, luxurious, abundant. But, I think it’s a really narrow line to where that stuff becomes a burden and sucks energy from your life. 

I can tell you that working in the house next door is definitely helping me to be wary about stuff, and a lot more hesitant about accumulating anything more. 

NEEDS vs WANTS

Yesterday a friend texted me and told me she had no food in her house. I kind of groaned. I had just been looking at my bank account and was feeling stressed at the thought of stretching the amount of money I had to meet our family’s needs. My first thought was, I do not have enough money to go buy her groceries. I’m going to be stretched as it is to buy food for my own family. I texted her back the name of a food kitchen in our neighborhood that would be having a free marketplace in a couple days. She made plans to drop by my house in a little while and so I got up, grabbed a bag and went and looked in my pantry. I started filling up the bag and then went and got a second bag and filled it up too. By the time I was done, I had put up enough food for several days for her family and really had not put any stress on our family by doing so. I hadn’t realized that I had that much food laying around my house. 

Before the text, my mindset had been, We have NO FOOD in the house! I NEED to go grocery shopping! In reality, even after giving away two bags of groceries, I still had enough food in the house that if some world catastrophe struck and we were trapped, I could still feed our family for a couple weeks. Of course, I wouldn’t have any fresh fruit and vegetables or milk, and I’d run out of meat pretty quick, but we could eat homemade cornbread and bread, and beans and other nutritious food that would serve us just fine in an emergency. (And no, I’m not a prepper.)

This summer I moved out of my bedroom. I filled up a canvas bag of clothes and a couple personal items and I didn’t go back into my room all summer. I lived all summer with one bag. I wanted my room back, but did I NEED any of the stuff in my room to live? Nope. 

This past weekend my husband and I spent a weekend at a cabin without the kids. I took groceries and cooked our meals while we were there. The cabin was stocked with everything you were supposed to need to cook. They had really limited options though. The entire weekend I cooked using one wobbly knife, one spatula, and one big spoon. I missed my utensil drawer back home that has a million knives and million spoons. But, I didn’t NEED all those utensils. They just make life a bit easier. 

Today, I have been looking around my house. I realized that though I have a large cupboard filled with pots and pans and cooking sheets and baking pans and serving bowls, I don’t use all of them. In fact, on a regular basis, I only use about half of my pots and pans. I have a storage place on top of my cabinets that is full of interesting serving platters and jars and fancy dishes. I don’t think I’ve touched them in two years. 

I have a hallway that has a large bookcase full of all my homeschooling books and materials that I used during my twelve year stint of homeschooling. I have been unsure of what to do with all these materials. I have tried giving them away, but no one is interested. I hate selling things, with a passion, so getting on ebay to sell my stuff is not a viable option. While I would like to keep all my interesting books that the kids love to read and look at, I have no need to keep boring, half-used workbooks. And there are a lot of the books that really aren’t that interesting. In short, I have an entire hallway filled with things I don’t NEED and I don’t even really WANT. 

In fact, I have a feeling that a good fifty percent of the belongings in my house are things that we don’t NEED and don’t even WANT. 

I am finding that belongings and things are actually a pretty heavy burden. You have to clean them and organize them. They make your living space feel more crowded. They complicate your life more. Busily managing your stuff takes time away from other more important things. But, it’s an addiction. We are a consumer-driven society. We are always on the lookout for things to buy. More things to own. Commercials feed this. We see something shiny and bright and new on the screen and we think, wow, I NEED one of those. And we use the word NEED a lot. I NEED some new clothes. I NEED some new shoes. I NEED new furniture. I NEED that new gadget. I NEED a new book. (That one is my go-to statement.)

Maybe it would help us if we stopped using the word NEED and replaced it with WANT. It would be more honest. Cause really, our NEEDS are very basic. We need food and water, shelter, clothing, loving relationships. Our WANTS are a lot more complicated. 

I WANT to dress at the same level as my peers so I don’t stand out. I WANT things that make my life more convenient and easy. I WANT to be entertained 24hrs a day. I WANT something new to boost my mood and cheer me up. 

I don’t know if there is anything inherently wrong with wanting things. But when those things start to take over your life and actually make your quality of life worse, it’s probably a good idea to regroup. Make yourself differentiate. Do I NEED this or do I just WANT this? Is adding another object to my life going to make my life better or just more complicated? Do I really want to have to clean up this much stuff every day? 

I have decided that the answer to those questions is NO. I don’t need this stuff, and in fact, I don’t want to clean up all this stuff. I don’t want to have to keep taking care of all this stuff. So, I am initiating The Great Heneise House Clean Out. 

Here’s to making life more simple and getting all those WANTS back under control.