Tag: political parties

An Apology

This post has been a long time coming. Not knowing how to address this topic has kept me silent quite a bit. 

I feel like I need to apologize for not entering the political online war. You know, the place where I tell you how I feel about the current political situation and try to offer wisdom and insight into the current tragedy that is playing out on our screens and perhaps chastise those who seem to be behaving badly or holding ungodly viewpoints on the issue. 

Issues I have avoided talking about: 

The war in Palestine

Ukraine

Government shutdowns

Epstein Files

Greenland

Venezuela

ICE

Etc…

I have opinions. I have strongly held views. Of course I think my views are godly and correct. And everyone else is wrong or at best, seriously misguided. 

I have written a lot of posts in my head on these issues. Scathing posts. Angry posts. Pleading posts. But I haven’t written them down. And that feels cowardly. 

I’m not using my platform to stand up for the downtrodden, the mistreated, the abused. I’m not defending the weak and the poor with my online posts. I’m one of the silent ones. One of those people who watched the Jews be taken to the camps and said nothing. I feel that guilt sitting on me. Because really my apology is for not doing anything to bring about change in the world. 

I pray about it. Lord, show me what to write. Show me how I can stand up for the persecuted. What can I do to stop these horrible things that are happening around me? 

I care. But my caring doesn’t seem to be backed up by any hands-on involvement. I send money. But I don’t send myself. 

What do I want? I want Christians to stop chasing after power. I want Love to be the law of the land. I want people to speak gently and compassionately about their fellow contrymen. I want children to not be bombed and starved to death. I want immigrants to be welcomed with open arms and easy paths to citizenship. I want accountability for those who govern us. I want the hungry to be fed. 

I don’t know how to make any of that happen. I don’t want to fight and argue on online platforms that feel to me like an imaginary place where people go to be rude and unpleasant to each other. I don’t want to join protests where I agree with only one issue that is being protested and none of the others. I have attempted to contact my representatives but feel very cynical about their willingness to listen to anything that doesn’t line up with their political platform. 

I have a deep sense of apathy when it comes to politics, local and otherwise. When I see that the two choices that I’m offered are both evil, just wrapping their greed in different colored cloths, I lose my hope that my vote really amounts to anything. I can vote in someone who wants to throw out all morality and safeguarding, or I can vote in someone who wants to persecute the poor and needy in the name of Jesus. I feel tainted voting for either party. 

I don’t think I’m afraid to make my opinions and views known. I am just very hesitant to start wars that are ineffectual and cause division without actually effecting any change. And what I want is change. Not to prove myself right to everyone else. Not to show that I am morally superior. At the very least, I want the poor to be fed and housed. I want people who don’t have white skin to feel safe and secure in my country. I want children to be safe from bombs and be able to have normal childhoods. 

I don’t know what actions to take to help towards that. 

My prayer is that God would show me something concrete I can do, and that I would have the moral courage to actually do it, even if it’s uncomfortable. 

In the meantime, I will continue to take care of my family, try to love anyone who enters my circle of influence and pray. It’s not enough. I just don’t know what else to do yet, and I’m sorry for that. 

Sell Me Some Hope

Sell me some hope
I’m in despair. 
Life isn’t how I want it.
Take all my cares
I’ll give you my money,
You give me a lie.
As long as I feel better.


A diet that will change my life? 
Charge it up, I’ll pay the price.
Sell me some hope
I’m in despair. 
Life isn’t how I want it.
Take all my cares.
I’ll give you my money,
You give me a lie.
As long as I feel better.

I’ve got problems with my kids,
They’re not happy and fulfilled.
Obviously the fault of the local public school.
We’ll change that!
Charter school, homeschool, Private school tuition!
Sell me some hope
I’m in despair.
Life isn’t how I want it.
Take all my cares.
I’ll give you my money,
You give me a lie.
As long as I feel better. 

There’s some trouble in my neighborhood.
People moving in. Don’t look like us,
We have no room for them.
Government, don’t you care? 
Send those people on out of here!
Sell me some hope
I’m in despair.
Life isn’t how I want it.
Take all my cares.
I’ll give you money,
You give me a lie,
As long as I feel better.

There’s a crisis with my government,
I don’t like the way those leaders talk and think
We need some change around here.
Political parties, what are you selling? 
We’re ready to buy.
Sell us some hope
We’re in despair.
Life isn’t how we want it.
Take all our cares.
We’ll give you power,
You give us a lie,
As long as we feel better.

What do we Stand For?

Today, at my daughter’s high school, some of the kids staged a walkout in “protest”. It was in the news. I found this interesting because I had already seen my daughter after school and asked her how her day was, and she had made no mention of a walk-out. So, I asked her what had happened, and she was like, oh yeah. They did a walk out. I asked if she participated. She said no. I asked what her reasons were. She said it wasn’t very organized and she asked the kids what they were protesting, and no one could really give her an answer, just that they were protesting, and she should join. She said she didn’t join because she didn’t know what they were exactly protesting. 

And I’m proud of her. Because I think she was the only one that didn’t walk out of her classroom. I would have been proud of her if she had joined the protest too, if she could have told me what issue she was protesting, and what she was hoping to accomplish by protesting. 

The main thing is that she knows her mind and does not thoughtlessly follow along with the crowd. 

This has kind of tied into other thoughts I’ve been having today. I have been thinking about conservative politics and how it presents itself in the media and social platforms.  And I have been feeling today that the conservative movement has adopted a defensive position. Everything that we say has to do with what we DON’T support. We don’t support gay marriage. We don’t support the trans movement. We don’t support the idea that our country has racism problems. We don’t support BIG GOVERNMENT (which translates to: we don’t support expanded food stamps, welfare, subsidized housing, etc). We don’t support immigration over our Southern border. We don’t support Common Core…I’m sure there are more, these are the just the ones that are coming immediately to mind. 

My question is, What DO we support? 

I know that we are vehemently against abortion. And I agree. I am against abortion. 

But what are we FOR? 

I have many, many Conservative Christian friends who are foster parents, who volunteer at Pregnancy Centers, who work with the homeless, who volunteer their time to reach out to prisoners. I have Conservative Christian friends who organize food trucks for areas in our city that are food deserts. I have Conservative Christian friends who reach out to our refugee population here in our city, helping them connect with the resources they need. I have Conservative Christian friends who volunteer their time to teach English as a Second Language to those immigrants who are coming across our Southern border. 

I see this. I know that a great deal of my Conservative Christian friends are very involved with helping those around them in their community. But for some reason, whenever we, as a group, engage with the general public, the only thing we seem able to portray is what we are against. 

I find myself kind of in the same place as my daughter. I have always considered myself Conservative simply because I don’t support abortion and I don’t want to tie myself to a political group that openly supports abortion. But, these past four years I have become increasingly hesitant to affiliate myself with any political group. And I feel a bit of pressure. Come on Esther, aren’t you a conservative too, aren’t you going to join our conservative politics? I’m not sure. What do you represent? What is your message? What goals are you trying to accomplish? I know what you are against, but what are you for? 

(And forgive me for messing around with politics. I love my Trump friends and I love my Biden friends. What I especially love is when you know your mind and can tell me, with precise bullet points, why you are in the political party you are in. I feel like I don’t know my own mind right now, and I’m asking myself hard questions. )