Tag: society

The Virginia Creeper and other signs of Wealth

I’m sitting on a little loveseat/couch in the corner of my bedroom, a window on either side of the corner. If I were sitting properly on the couch, I would have a window behind me and a window to my right. But, this is not a couch to sit properly on. It’s rather an uncomfortable little couch and no matter how many pillows you arrange, you find yourself shifting around constantly, sure that if you just adjust this a little bit, or straighten that a little more, it will be good. But it never is. So I sit sideways on the couch with my back against the armrest, my legs and feet scrunched on the cushions in front of me as the couch is just a little bit too short to fully stretch out. 

The window behind the couch, (which is what I really wanted to tell you about), is an old aluminum frame window, rickety, leaks a lot of air in winter time. The window is in two parts and slides from the right to the left to open. Of course, that doesn’t get you to the outside yet. You then have to grab two hooks, top and bottom, on the storm window and slide it to the left as well. And then finally you are at the screen. This window is special among windows in my room because it still has its screen. Only one other window of the five windows in this room still has its screen. Which means in spring and fall, when we are trying to not run heaters and air conditioners and instead take advantage of the cool air outside, it’s a bit difficult to get that cool air into the bedroom, as there are only two windows with screens. I can’t help but think how nice it will be when all those windows can be opened without an invasion of bugs. It’s one of those awkward situations where it is feasible to fix the screens, except the windows are so old and poorly designed that they all really need to be replaced, and that’s a big project that involves a chunk of money and it’s not a high priority, and so it is at the bottom of the list. So, I have two windows with screens. 

Back to the window above the couch. So, this window is covered in vines that arrived this spring. I ask my husband and he says it’s a Virginia Creeper. One half of the window is completely covered, the other side still has a little hole in the middle that has not succumbed. And I sit here on my unwieldy couch and I feel like I am in the jungle. A filter of green for my room. My curtains stay open, no need for them, I have a vine doing the job of creating privacy for me. I can peek through the leaves and see blue sky. The little hole on one side gives me a view of the mulberry tree in the backyard. All I can see is blue and green. What a wonderful little pocket of paradise I have! 

One of my more practical minded children makes a comment that we should cut down the vine. I protest. Not now! Wait till fall! 

It makes me think about rules. Expectations. A grown up life should look like this. This is what responsibility and prosperity look like. This is how you do it right. And I’m not talking about the unmoveable laws of love that hold up our universe. I’m talking about whether you should paint your house purple, and how neat your flower gardens should look. The rules that say green grass is good, and yellow daisies are not. The rules that say if your life looks like this you are wealthy, and if it doesn’t, you are poor. 

According to the world’s rules, I’m not exactly measuring up. But today I sat in my purple faded house, which is definitely on the rundown side, and I worked on music and household chores and I allowed my children to simply exist in their home. They had friends over and they played board games all day, the way only kids on summer vacation can. And I thought about how wealthy I was to be able to be home with my children. My husband was in and out of the house as he had a lot of small jobs and errands to do today. Every time he walked past me throughout the day, passing each other in the kitchen, or the living room, or the bedroom, he gave me a kiss or a hug, or simply a mischievous raise of the eyebrows to make me laugh. How rich I am to have the marriage I have. I squirm a bit on my couch, trying to get a bit more comfortable, and I gaze through my leafy window. How fortunate I am to have such a view. Sometimes I forget. 

Freedom

I just finished the book “Dispossessed” by Ursula K. Le Guin. It’s one of those books that make you think. It takes place in some far distant future on some far distant planet that has been inhabited by humans for thousands of years. The planet has withstood all the typical human problems, mismanaging the planet, corruption, slavery, violence, changes of government. They are now settled into a system that sounds a lot like our current way of life, but with proper management of the planet and its resources. The rich rule, the poor survive. Class systems. A great focus on material possessions. In the story, about two hundred years before, a group of social dissidents gain enough power that the local government is afraid of their influence, and so they give them permission to leave the planet and settle on the moon, which is habitable, but barely. It has water and fish and some vegetation, but not a lot. It’s a very fragile system and in order to live there everyone has to be very careful with the resources. This group of dissidents call themselves the Odonians, after their leader, Odo, and they set out to create their own utopia. This utopia is centered around anarchism.

anarchism: a political theory holding all forms of governmental authority to be unnecessary and undesirable and advocating a society based on voluntary cooperation and free association of individuals and groups Merriam-Webster

Their means of accomplishing this is to banish all ownership. Everything is commonly owned. People work together because in helping their community, they are helping themselves. And that is supposed to be the driving motivation to do the right thing. Their culture also helps promote this by disdaining and calling out any behavior that reeks of “propertarianism” or being an “egoist”.

There are all kinds of thoughts and ideas to dig into in this book, but one theme stood out to me, freedom. For the Odonians, freedom was being able to do whatever was best for yourself and the only way to achieve that freedom was to not be imprisoned by authorities or societal institutions directing your path or to be imprisoned by material possessions. There were no taboos for sex and no traditions supporting family units, though couples that wanted to stay together could, and parents that wanted to stay involved in their children’s lives, could, it was just not required. Work was seen as a fulfilling thing that everyone did, preferably in an area where you had obvious gifts and talents, but everyone also pitched in to help with nonglamorous jobs so that everything got done. And if someone chose to not work they could. But the people serving food could also choose to not feed those who didn’t work. And if a person behaved in a way that their peers found selfish or hurtful, the community could encourage them to move on to somewhere else. The underlying idea being that it’s our social structures and traditions and our material belongings that actually make humans not live in harmony with each other. And if you eliminate all those things, harmony will surely come.

Except, spoiler alert, we also learn that humankind is just bent to form bureaucracy and hierarchy and fall into power struggles, and it takes constant effort to remain in a “free” state.

I finished the book last night and then this morning I went to church and we sang a bunch of songs about being “free” . And that really grabbed my attention since I’d just been reading about this theme.

For a Christian, we understand that we have all been affected by the entry of sin into the world which happened in the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit. Sin came into the world and the end result of sin was moral decay, rot, and death. And no matter how many structures we put into place, religions, sacrifices, moralism, structured civilizations, strict laws, none of these things had the power to free us from sin and its end result of death.

Then Jesus, the Son of God, came to earth and was killed on a cross and he took the punishment for all our sins, for all mankind for all time. He abolished death. He fixed the problem and made it so we could be free from sin. But in order to enter into that freedom we have to accept the work he did on the cross, repent of our sins, and submit ourselves to his authority. We become slaves of Christ. His will be done, not ours.

Christianity is a paradox. In order to be free, we become slaves. We serve the Lord of the Universe, and that Lord, lay down all his power and sacrificed himself for us. And then Jesus said, if you want to be great in God’s kingdom, you must learn to be a servant. And then he proceeds to lead by example and serves us, his people. We live in a utopia of being loved and held by God, slowly being changed by him, but we also look forward to the true “utopia” of heaven where everything is finally made right and all sin and pain are abolished.

The difference between finding freedom in Christ and finding freedom in anarchy is that Christ actually takes care of the original sin problem that makes humans not live in harmony. Anarchy is at best a bandaid that offers a temporary solution, but it can never deal with the root problem, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

The Art of Being Invisible

Being invisible has been one of my core defenses since I was very young. If people don’t see you they won’t tease you. Bully you. Ridicule you. If people don’t see you then they won’t know you. If they don’t know you they don’t have any power to hurt you. 

In our society there are a lot of ways to become invisible. Being overweight is a good one. I read this article one time of a woman who did an artistic photo journey of her transformation from obesity to normal weight. One of the key things that stood out in her photos was the invisibility of being overweight. We are a society that puts a heavy emphasis on physical beauty and if you don’t fit into that category, you become invisible. 

Another way to become invisible which is more universal, is to simply not be young any more. Our books, movies, tv shows, advertisements, all focus on youth. Sure you can still stand out as an older person as long as you still have a youthful body, face, and style. 

As a mom I have found surrounding myself with children is a good way to make myself invisible. Everyone’s focus is on the children, Beauty! Youth! Sweet adorableness! 

Being overweight is a journey I’m still walking out. Ageing is inevitable. Being surrounded by kids has turned out to be my calling. These are all things that just make me invisible inevitably. Not choices I have particularly made. But the choice for invisibility that I do consciously make is the choice to be silent. 

In case you all haven’t noticed, I generally have a lot to say. As a kid in school, I was always the quiet one, but if the teacher asked a question in class, I had my hand raised, ready to answer. I like discussions. I like engaging in talks about ideas. I will gladly skip small talk, but if you open up with a heavy topic, I’m all in. 

Over the past months as our lives kind of spiralled out of control for a bit there and the amount of crazy life situations I was having to deal with reached an insane level, I resorted to all the defense mechanisms that always helped me survive in the past. Defense number one: become invisible. Retreat into silence. 

Now, I feel lke I am on the other side of the storm. There are some hurts and damage and I’ve got to help my kids walk through the healing process, but it feels like we have reached calm waters again. And I feel like I’m in a different kind of dangerous place. Being silent is comfortable. It feels safe. I sit here in my house, my kids have returned to school, and I have no desire to leave my cocoon. I have no desire to interact with anyone. Even in the relative anonymity of Facebook, I find myself writing and then erasing my comments because I just don’t want to engage. I don’t want to be seen. And while I feel like being invisible was necessary for the particular circumstances we were in, it’s not a place to stay. 

I have a great imaginary life in my head. Stories I come back to over and over again. In the past year, I have started analysing these stories. Why do I like these? What draws me to this story? And I have come to realize that the attraction in these stories is that it is someone invisible who becomes seen. Recognized. And through that recognition, given worth. I have a deep longing to be seen. To experience the true intimacy of being known. I know, in my mind, that God sees me. That Jesus’ work on the cross has already given me value. But somehow it feels like my ability to fully walk in that truth is wrapped up in my ability to also walk it out with the people around me. 

And so I find myself facing this new year wondering if I have it in me to open my mouth and speak again. To engage with people again. To take the time and energy to truly see the people around me and take the risk of letting myself be seen.