Tag: suffering

Devastation in our Part of the World

For those who don’t live in the same part of the world as me, our big, breaking, horrible news is the floods and destruction that have hit our region due to Hurricane Helene. East Tennessee and Western North Carolina have been hit so hard, that my brain can’t wrap around it. Entire towns gone. Our main interstates and highways and bridges, washed out. There are still communities, today, where people continue to remain trapped in their homes, waiting for help. The city of Asheville was completely cut off. The death count is at 166 but there are still people missing and unaccounted for. 

I have been watching my news feed throughout all of this. Seeing in-the-moment pictures of the destruction, people calling out into the internet void for information about their community and friends and family. I want to use words like heartbreaking, and devastating, but those words feel cliche. 

East Tennessee and Western North Carolina are our family’s go-to place. We take drives there, vacations, adventures. I was at a basketball tournament in Asheville in January for my kids. My daughter and I had a weekend away at Biltmore last year. My husband and I have spent several weekends away tucked into different remote mountain communities. We joke about just abandoning all our responsibilities to go have breakfast in Maggie Valley. When I was thirteen, I attended a camp at Lake Junaluska where I had my first real encounter with a loving God. When people talk about where your favorite place is or where you want to retire, I always think of these mountains as the best place to be. 

And now, I don’t know what to think or feel. I don’t know how these communities are going to put themselves back together again. I don’t know how the families who have lost everything are going to recover or even manage the day-to-day living. I don’t know how all these roads and bridges can get fixed in any kind of timely way. The problem is so humongous that my brain just shuts off any time I try to think of it. 

I do know that so many people and organizations and churches and rescue people, and mule trains, and ham radio operators, soup kitchens, stores, everyone is reaching out to help. And I pray that this help can connect with every individual who has been affected. I pray that every person who has not been found and is waiting for rescue will be found today. I pray that every person who has been separated from family and friends and who are anxiously waiting for news will hear that news today and it will be good news. I pray that everyone who has gone to help will be able to coordinate and work well together. 

The world is frightening. Terrifying. Natural disasters destroying people’s lives. Wars tearing the fabric of our humanity apart. Unrest. Instability. Famine. Starvation. After a while, our hearts and brains can no longer handle the knowledge of so much devastation, and we turn our brains off. Go numb. Try to distract ourselves with entertainment. 

How do we live in the face of so much suffering? 

I don’t know.  But I will hold onto Jesus and take it one minute at a time and pray that I can somehow find a way to help someone today. 

Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. 

The Sufferings of Christ

It’s been a long, painful week. Stuff happened. As it seems want to do. 

I live in my imagination a lot, and what I imagined at the beginning of the week was myself, a gunshot wound to my chest, bleeding all over, entering into the throne room of God and just collapsing on the floor in front of him. No words to say. Just, here I am. Here’s what shape I’m in.  And while I was laying there imagining this, the phrase that came to my mind was, “Enter into the sufferings of Christ”. 

I’ve been thinking about that phrase all week. My imaginary hole in my chest has been bound, wrapped up in bandages. Healing medicine poured over it. I’m still walking slowly and carefully, feeling very fragile, but I’m whole. And I keep circling back. What does that mean? Why do I have to enter into the sufferings of Christ? What is the point? 

My prayer over the years has been, make me more like you Jesus. More of you, less of me. I admit, when I say that, what I mean is, I want to be more loving, more patient, more kind, more selfless, etc. I was not thinking of these verses from Isaiah 53, verse 3 and 4:

He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem. Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted.

Familiar with pain. Took up our pain. Bore our suffering. 

No, I was definitely not thinking about that when I said I wanted to be more like Jesus. 

My husband and I have done some soul searching this week. Questioning some of our choices. If a choice leads to pain and suffering then it has to be wrong, right? But I keep coming back to the fact that we made these choices because we felt it was an obedience to God and what the Bible teaches. And it still led to suffering. And that kind of hurts the brain.  

Enter into the sufferings of Christ. In doing this, does this mean that I am becoming more like Jesus? Not only sharing in his joy and love but in his pain and suffering?

When I hit my crisis it wasn’t long before I turned to one of my friends for help and comfort. And yes, she’s a close friend so I would have turned to her first anyway, but it was so much more meaningful because I knew she had been in a similar situation to mine. She could empathize and give good counsel. She had already suffered through this and could meet me exactly where I was at. And she was kind of a physical Jesus to me in my sufferings. Only possible because she had suffered herself. Does suffering make us more able to be the hands and feet of Jesus? 

Through all of this, I can testify. God is faithful. He heals the brokenhearted. He breathes hope on my soul. When I am at my lowest, I find his presence the strongest. The Holy Spirit has been faithful to whisper scripture in my ear that has kept me from falling into anger or judgement. 

Funnily enough, God was gracious enough to allow me to get Covid this week. Yeah, who needs covid? But, because of that I have been able to cancel a multitude of appointments, completely clear my schedule and just have time to rest and process. I’m still getting better, but my husband only had to take one day off to take care of the kids and household before I had enough energy to cover the basics again. 

Enter into the sufferings of Christ. I’m still figuring out what this means, but what I do know is that it is a journey that makes me more like Him. And that is what I want.