I have decided that I need to take a different approach to life. My typical approach is: I’ve got a big job to do and my worth depends on how well I do the job and if I get it finished. (Finishing it perfectly is an added bonus.) This is not working for me.
Every morning I wake up feeling behind. A good reality check says that, Hey, there is no way one woman can possibly keep a giant house perfectly clean, 10 children fed and clothed and happy, be a good wife, be a good friend, be a good daughter, citizen, piano teacher, sister, aunt and any other role I find myself trying to fill. It is literally impossible. And so I wake up in the morning feeling cranky, overwhelmed, slightly panicky, because I’m always behind. I never finish everything on my list. My job becomes the priority and it’s not very fulfilling. You wash the laundry and it’s dirty again the next day. You prepare a meal and fill every one up then you have to repeat the process in 4 hours. I find myself getting short and impatient with my little boys because they are constantly hindering me from getting my work done. I find myself complaining a lot.
As I stood in my little boy’s bedroom, observing the giant mess that needed to be cleaned up, I decided it was time to change perspective. What if I see all of this as a big game? What if every day I just play hard and enjoy the process. At the end of the day we declare a Game Over and then start again the next day. Ok. Rules. Every game has to have rules. And a point. So, the goal of the game is to be loving and kind to everyone in my circle of influence. There are a bunch of tasks or challenges to do, but the point isn’t to finish all the challenges. Instead just choose each day which ones are most important and focus on those. But finishing the challenge doesn’t count unless you continue to be loving and kind to those around you, cause that’s the main point of the game.
I think life will be a lot more peaceful and fulfilling if I play the game instead of work the job.
(I wrote the above this morning) (Finishing this up after a long day.)
Ok, I tried my new method of looking at things today. It was a bit harder than I was hoping. Mostly because I kept forgetting, and I would get all caught up in my “job” mindset and then start getting snappy again when I was interrupted. Loving people! That’s the goal! I kept having to remind myself. Ok, little baby. I was half-way done cleaning this room, but you are having a meltdown, so I will stop what I’m doing and hold you and love on you till you feel better. Then, if I still have time, I will continue to clean this room. Because the room isn’t the main goal. Loving you is the main goal.
I wonder how long it will take me to adjust to this perspective shift?