I needed to write. So you all get a bonus Blog today.
My lifetime enemy, depression, has been rearing its ugly head lately. I’ve been in denial. I’m fine. I’ve got this. I’m ok. Then today, when I found myself glued to my chair, not wanting to move, except to climb into bed and sleep, I realized, oh, yes, I recognize this pattern.
I’ve decided to fight back a bit. The worst thing about depression is that it whispers, “Failure!” in my ear, constantly. So, I have decided to compile a list of ways that I did not fail today. Speak a bit of truth.
First, my two and five year old boys, who were in my charge all day, are alive and well. They ate, got cleaned, played, watched tv, went outside. As far as they are concerned, it was a great day.
I got all my school age kids to and from school without a hitch, and they are all in a good mood, playing with friends.
Supper is cooking. The dishes are caught up. The laundry is doing ok. The downstairs of the house is clean. Sure, I paid the kids to clean it because I wasn’t able to force myself to do it. But, the kids got some pocket money, they’re happy, it was cheaper than hiring a maid, and I can say that I used my delegating skills.
I also signed our family up for health insurance for the next year on Healthcare.gov, which is a soul-sucking experience in itself. It actually took me two days to finish the whole application. But, it’s done!
I kept the fire going in the woodstove.
I’m getting along with my husband.
My pets are happy.
It wasn’t a failure day.
So, for all my friends out there fighting depression and anxiety, this is actually a pretty good tool. Write down everything that was right in the day, even if you have to grasp at straws, like, The sun came up today and set as normal. No tornadoes blew my house down. My car didn’t explode. I didn’t catch the plague… See! It works! I’m feeling better already. 🙂
Thanks for listening.
2 thoughts on “NOT a Bad Day”
I’ve been thinking about you and praying for you. Trying to think of some words of wisdom – every day brings new things, some good, some kinda hard, BUT know this, when you sit on the floor and play and laugh with your little ones, remember in a while, when things quiet down, you are being surrounded by love and care and encouragement from so many !!!!!
Thanks Aunt Nina!