This past Monday night my husband and I went and had dinner with some friends of ours. They are from Russia and eating at their house is a gastric delight. Miss Olga spoils us rotten. We have been meeting about once a month with these friends for quite a while now, part of a program our church is doing where older married couples pair up with younger married couples and do informal marriage counseling/support. While we have been married twenty years now, it is still a blessing to meet up with a couple that has been married twice as long as us and have a chance to just talk about relationship stuff. It has especially been a blessing for us, as this couple has been willing to open up about themselves and their struggles and share their lives with us.
We always end the evening in prayer and Yuri prayed something that really stood out to me. He was praying and he said, “Thank you Lord that they have been going through hardship and this hardship is drawing them closer to you.”
I had to agree with him. Yes Lord. Thank you.
The past couple months have been a whirlwind for me as we have opened up our home to a group of siblings. It has been a steep learning curve for all of us, and we get to know each other and try to mesh our families together. We have had a lot of crises. Min-crises and Major Crises. And while this has been stressful, I can see how we are all making progress and moving towards the goal of peace and health and wholeness for everyone involved.
And throughout all of it, I have found myself leaning heavily on Jesus. God, I need wisdom, Right Now. Lord, I need patience Right Now. Jesus, I need grace, Right Now.
I have found myself, Miss Lazy Herself, setting my alarm clock earlier so that I can have some time to read the Bible before I wake up the Herd. Often, the first thought in my head, as I wake up and think about all that has to be done, is simply, Jesus. I need you. Please help me.
And the crazy thing is, I don’t feel like I’m coming from a place of desperation. I am not feeling like I need to run away or I just can’t handle this, or I wish all this would go away. No. It’s more of a Wow, this job is humongous and I happen to know that I am not fully qualified to do this job. And I feel like God has put me in this job, even though I’m not fully qualified, so I’m just going to have to trust that he’s going to provide everything I need to do what needs to be done.
James 1: 2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
I think for the first time in my life I can whole-heartedly agree with this scripture passage. Yes, thank you Lord for these trials of many kinds. Thank you for drawing me closer to you. Thank you for growing me as a person and not letting me stagnate in my safety zone.
Safety-zones are great for a season. But they are a place of rest. Not a place of growth and adventure and triumph.
There’s a book called “Captivating” by John and Stasi Eldredge. The book has an entire chapter that talks about how we, as women of God, are called to be Warrior Princesses. I love that chapter. I’m feeling it right now. I know my teens would get a hoot out of this, but right now I feel like Eowyn from Tolkien’s “The Return of the King”, sword drawn, giving a battle cry and rushing towards the enemy.
So, yes, again. Thank you Lord for these trials of many kinds. The Warrior Princess I never knew was there, has been revealed, and her strength comes from the Lord.