Hey everyone. My husband has covid, we’re going on day seven today. I tested negative yesterday and my kids have no symptoms, so that is a huge blessing. Please pray for my husband for complete, quick recovery. I don’t have it in me to write at the moment. Just letting you know why I’ve disappeared. Hopefully be back soon.
My parents have covid. My dad has the covid pneumonia and has been put into a Covid Unit. My mom is not as sick and is recuperating at home.
I need to write. My emotions are hitting all four points of the compass and I think several parts of my brain have just shut down temporarily.
Please pray for our family.
Right now I need to be in three different places at once and the levels of priority are slight and nuanced and so there is no clear path to figure out where I should be. At this very minute in time, my oldest son is staying with his grandmother to take care of her. My father is holding steady. And so I am doing what is in front of me. Unpacking after vacation. Getting kids ready for school which starts in a week. Buying groceries, school supplies, school clothes. One foot in front of the other. Texting a million people. Talking to nurses. Checking in with everybody often.
I’m clinging hard to Jesus. Clinging to his promises. I know my father is saved and whenever his life ends here on earth, he will be with Jesus in eternity. I know that God knows we’re not ready for that to happen yet. I know that my Mom is in God’s hands. But I hate seeing her suffer. I know that sickness is not a punishment, just part of living in this fallen world. But I also know God can heal. I know that God is good. I know that I am loved and not alone. But my adrenaline is pumping hard and I feel like it’s me versus Covid as I try to make everything better for my parents. Long to make everything better.
I need wisdom. The doctors need wisdom. My whole family needs wisdom. And Peace. Please pray that we can keep our eyes focused on Jesus as we navigate this horrible time.
It’s late Monday night. The younger children are asleep, the older ones are quiet in their rooms. Throughout the evening I’ve been hearing random gunshots in our neighborhood. After hearing five different shots, I called it into the police. They said they would send someone to check things out. But, the gunshots have continued through the evening.
My highschoolers have been put on RED this week, doing virtual school instead of in-person school. Except, this time, it’s not for weather or covid, but because of a death. This past Friday, a sixteen year old boy was leaving our highschool and was struck by a stray bullet shot very close to the school. He did not survive.
One of my daughter’s teachers sent out a schedule for tomorrow and it is basically going to be grief counseling all day long.
Very recently my own daughter was walking home from school and had someone firing off a gun half a block behind her. And I’m crying in relief. It wasn’t my daughter that got hit by a stray bullet. And I’m angry. WHY ON EARTH are our kids having to deal with bullets on their way home from school!! And I wonder how on earth to make it stop. And I think about the anger and gut wrenching grief of this young man’s family. And I think about all the kids showing up to their online classes tomorrow, angry, mourning, scared it might be them the next time.
I am so angry. And I am weeping at the pain of losing a child so young.
And I want to know how on earth our family can be an agent of help in this community. It seems so impossible. The problems too big. Our influence too small.
My husband and I were driving in the countryside yesterday. We have always longed to live in the country. We talk about farms and cabins in the woods. We toss around ideas of how we could make it happen.
Yesterday, as we drove through the beautiful scenery, my husband asked, again, Why aren’t we living out here??
I didn’t answer right away, because we’ve had this conversation over and over again. But finally I spoke up.
Cause God put us in the city and for some reason he seems to want us to stay there.
Oh yeah. That’s why. We actually feel like God had a plan when we moved here. And we haven’t felt like it’s time to move on yet.
But, on days like today, nights like tonight, I feel a bit of despair.
Please pray for our high school as the kids come together for the first time tomorrow. Pray for safety for our children. Pray the family of this young man. And pray for change to come.