Theater of the Absurd

When I was a senior in high school I was in Mr. Koon’s honors English class at Bethel Regional High School, in Bethel, Alaska. It was a top-notch class. I have not seen any of my children have to do the amount of work that we did in that class in their own high school and even community college English classes. For our final project we chose an author and did an in-depth study of them and their works. I think in the end, I wrote close to 30 pages total on my author. I chose Eugene Ionesco, a playwright who was part of the Theater of the Absurd, and explored the ideas of existentialism. 

I focused on his play “Rhinoceros”. This play takes place in France and was a commentary on the rise of fascism before and during World War 2. In the play, which takes place in a small French town, the people of the town start turning into rhinos. At first there is some alarm and the townspeople turn to a logician to get explanations of what is happening. But as more and more people turn into rhinos, (including the logician) the townspeople start viewing it as a good thing, and they too, quickly turn into rhinos. At the end, the main character, the last person, finds himself oddly attracted to the rhinos, but stubbornly determined to continue fighting against them. 

The theater of the absurd focuses on the idea that life is absurd and thus meaningless and you have to create your own meaning in life. This falls in line with the idea that there is no absolute truth and everyone has to create “their own truth”. (That might be true for you, but it isn’t true for me!)

I would say that the time period that we are living in now is a manifestation of these ideas. Have you noticed that truth no longer exists in our public spaces? Let’s look at a concrete example. Trump’s meeting with Zelensky. It was televised so all the world could see it. Now, look at the commentary on this meeting. People and news agencies and commentators who support Trump explained what this meeting meant and why it went the way that it did. People and news agencies and commentators who do not support Trump also explained what this meeting meant and why it went the way it did. And I can tell you that those two sets of commentary are polar opposite. Like one person saying the sun is shining and the other person saying, no that is the moon. 

We are living in a time when “truth” has become so obscure, we no longer believe it exists. Everything is up for interpretation. And I believe that this mindset feeds into the idea that life is meaningless. 

As a person who has decided to not participate in either side of the political spectrum, I am finding my daily wade into social media and the news an exercise in absurdity and frustration, almost like watching my fellow citizens turn into rhinos right in front of my eyes. And in the end, it feels like truth doesn’t exist, there is no way to know who is right and wrong, so I just need to find my own things to focus on. Ie. I should just go create my own meaning for life, invent my own truth. 

I believe it is absolutely imperative in these times that we hold fast to that which we know is true. 

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32

What did Jesus teach? Love God, love your neighbors. When Jesus was on earth, his followers wanted to crown him and turn his mission into a political one. Jesus refused. He was establishing a different kind of kingdom. One that starts in people’s hearts and then naturally affects the world around them as they start living out what Jesus taught. Jesus said, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33. 

We are so worried about the state of our country. And the solutions that are offered to us are so polar opposite to each other, they negate each other. What do we do about it? Seek after God, do his will. Pray for wisdom. I encourage everyone to run all the “truths” that come your way through this filter. Does this fall in line with loving God? Does this fall in line with loving my neighbor? 

Life is not meaningless. Absolute truth exists. Jesus said, I am the way and the truth and the life, no one comes to the Father except through me. As the concept of truth continues to disintegrate around us, I cling to this. 

Seeking His Face

I’ve been having a rough day. A rough week. A rough month. After moping around this morning, I decided I might as well set my problems aside and get to work on something. I needed a notebook to make some lists. I dug around in my drawer and found a notebook that was half-filled with writing. Well, I could use the unwritten half. No problem. Curious, I looked to see what I had written in the other half. I found sermon notes. I glanced through it, trying to figure out when I had written this down. I came upon these notes that were talking about Matthew 5 verses 1-6 and how we need a desperate hunger for God. And there were the words,

 

Empty Yourself.

 

And so I decided to just stop and do that.

 

I, Esther Heneise, do not have the strength, power or wisdom to live my life in a Holy manner. I do not have what it takes to run a household for twelve people. I do not have the stamina, passion, endurance, desire, to give everything I have to these ten children under my roof. I do not have the self-discipline, self-love, logic and wisdom to take care of my body in the way that I should. I allow my cravings to rule me. I do not have the attractiveness, passion, self-sacrifice, that is required to be a good wife to my husband. I do not have the time nor the desire to reach out to others outside of my home. I do not have the power to overcome depression. I don’t have energy to pursue adventure, excitement, change. I do not have the wisdom to know how to prepare for the future. I do not have the organizational skills required to keep up with every single detail of my and my family’s lives. 

 

Plain and simple, I don’t have what it takes to do this life. 

 

Then the next words were,

 

Fill Yourself. 

 

So I did.

 

Jesus lived the perfect life for me, because I couldn’t. Jesus has already paid the price for my slothfulness, my gluttony, my selfishness, my pride, my wrath, my envy. That heavy debt has been paid. Jesus has given me the Holy Spirit.  The power that raised Jesus from the dead is now inside of me. 

 

Plain and simple, it’s not my power that gets me through this life, it’s God’s power. 

 

Then came this question,

 

Are we seeking God’s face or do we only want to see his hands? 

 

I had to think about this.

Is my desire to know God better? Worship him? Serve him? Spend time with him? Or do I just want him to swoop in and solve all my problems and then go away again? 

 

Honestly, I would say that lately my prayers have been more “Show me your hands God!” than “Show me your face.” 

 

All this introspection lead me to the conclusion,

 

I need to repent. 

 

I’m sorry Lord. I have not been seeking you first. I have been seeking solutions and answers. 

 

“But Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and his Righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33

 

I’ve got to run after you first. The answers and solutions flow from that seeking. We don’t seek answers and solutions. We seek you. 

 

And so that is what I will do. 

 

Create in me a pure heart, O God,

    and renew a steadfast spirit within me. 

Do not cast me from your presence

    or take your Holy Spirit from me. 

Restore to me the joy of your salvation

    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. 

 

Psalm 51: 10-12