Tag: Trinity Community Church

Christmas and Revelation

It’s Christmas Eve. I’m sitting in my robe in my kitchen, waiting for a bread pudding to come out of the oven. After some consideration, I came to the conclusion that bread pudding actually has less sugar and more eggs than french toast or pancakes, and thus is actually a perfectly acceptable breakfast food. 😀 I lit my candles, and shared a hot drink with my husband before he headed out to work. Now two of my daughters have joined me, cheerfully chattering. 

My list for today is reasonable and we will end the evening with a Christmas Eve service at the Lutheran church where my children attend school. All is Merry and Bright. 

Set against this scene was my Bible reading this morning. I am doing a Bible reading plan with our church where we are reading through the New Testament and Psalms. We have stuck it out all year and are finally wrapping up our reading with the book of Revelation. It is a very jarring book to read at Christmas time. It feels so at odds with our celebrations. 

If you are thinking about the story of our deliverance, Christmas is the beginning. (Though the entire Old Testament is a looking forward to this deliverance). And then Revelation is the end. Jesus returns, judgement is passed, sin and death end, we move forward into the glorious future Jesus has planned for us. But first we have to get through some serious suffering and hardship as it all comes to pass. 

I am sitting here wondering why we need to read Revelation at Christmas time, and this is what has occurred to me. 

This Christmas has been really wonderful. And I keep comparing it to past Christmases. I remember when money was a lot shorter and tighter and our Christmas shopping mostly happened at the thrift stores. Or those times when the only extra money for Christmas came from a Christmas bonus check that we only got a day or two before Christmas day, and then the very rushed shopping expeditions as I tried to find presents two days before Christmas. I remember trying to have Christmas trees with babies and toddlers who were determined to pull every ornament off the tree and try their very hardest to pull the whole tree down on top of themselves. I remember trying to do nightly advent readings with a whole gaggle of small, impatient children who didn’t want to sit still and listen. I remember the chaos of trying to keep the house clean and beautiful with Christmas decorations while the children came along behind me, flinging toys and books left and right, spilling drinks and crumbs on my freshly swept floors. And while those memories are full of joy and fondness, I am really enjoying this Christmas where my children are old enough to help keep things tidy, sit still for our advent readings, and I am not feeling overly stressed financially. 

Looking back actually makes this present moment even sweeter. 

Perhaps it’s the same for Christmas. Looking back, and forward, makes the meaning of Christmas even richer. We look back and see how lost we were in our sins, stuck in a constant cycle of death and destruction. We look forward and see that one day, all the sin in the world will be punished, justice will finally come, and for those who claim this free gift of deliverance, paradise is waiting. Which makes Christmas, the time we celebrate that Jesus came to earth as a baby to begin his ministry of deliverance, so much sweeter. 

Perhaps Revelation and Christmas do go together. Merry Christmas everyone, I pray it will be a joyous season for you, whether this is a time of struggling or a time of peace. God is good all the time, past, present and future.

Good Chris­tian men, re­joice
With heart and soul, and voice;
Give ye heed to what we say:
News! News! Je­sus Christ is born to­day;
Ox and ass be­fore Him bow;
And He is in the man­ger now.
Christ is born to­day!
Christ is born to­day!

Good Chris­tian men, re­joice,
With heart and soul and voice;
Now ye hear of end­less bliss:
Joy! Joy! Je­sus Christ was born for this!
He has op­ened the heav­en­ly door,
And man is blest for­ev­er­more.
Christ was born for this!
Christ was born for this!

Good Chris­tian men, re­joice,
With heart and soul and voice;
Now ye need not fear the grave:
Peace! Peace! Je­sus Christ was born to save!
Calls you one and calls you all,
To gain His ev­er­last­ing hall.
Christ was born to save!
Christ was born to save!

Good Christian Men Rejoice
Words by Heinrich Suso
Translated by John Neale

Dripping in Treasure

I have ten kids. Birthed all ten. The oldest was sixteen when I had my last. This was not an easy thing to do. I got hyperemesis with each pregnancy and was usually sick in bed for at least the first five months. It usually took about six months before I felt ok. I averaged twenty pounds weight loss just from throwing up, every time. I made at least one trip to the ER every pregnancy due to dehydration. I took expensive nausea medicine, but it did not relieve symptoms very much. 

When we first got married my husband and I both felt a strong conviction that we were supposed to trust God for the size of our family and we were not going to use birth control. Every time I had a baby, I revisited this decision. I looked at all the birth control options, prayed a lot, and every single time I did not feel peace to stop having kids. I loved our children, we adored our babies, the pregnancies were just so hard. When I was pregnant with our tenth, my husband and I made the decision that we were done having kids and made plans for a permanent birth control. We both felt a lot of peace about that decision, and I can honestly say, there has not been one time where I have regretted that choice or the timing of that choice. 

Over the years as I was sick in bed with another pregnancy, I went through a lot of different emotions. Anger, self-pity, doubt, resignation. But my conviction was stronger than my emotions. I knew this was something God had asked of me. Without a doubt. And so I had ten kids. 

Over the years I have watched how God has provided for us. We have never been without. Despite being a one income family, we have managed to raise our kids and provide what they need. Definitely not everything they want, but everything they need. 

Now, when I look at my life, I feel like one of the wealthiest women in the world. I am dripping in treasure. My life is so rich. My kids are amazing. They love each other. They love their parents. Our home is peaceful. Not quiet, but peaceful. Any time of the day I can look up and see my kids being creative, imaginative, enthusiastic, kind. They love going to church. They love worshipping Jesus. They do their work around the house without a big fuss, and they love helping others. I am bursting with pride over every single one of them. And I find my life as a stay-at-home mom something that uses all my talents and is fulfilling and meaningful. 

Last night we went and picked up our kids from church camp. We had seven kids at camp. One was there as a cook, two were there as counselors, another as a junior counselor, and then three as campers. The camp does a lot of performing arts, so the last night the parents come and see all the things their kids have learned. Flag performances, hip hop, drama, skits, dances. It was wonderful. I sat on the hillside in my camp chair and I watched my children worship God with full enthusiasm and emotion. One of the last songs they sang with all the kids was “The Blessing”  (Elevation Worship) which they had learned sign language to.  And as I watched and sang along, I sat there crying because I knew God had already blessed me. Richly. Unequivocally. Overflowing cup. 

Almost without fail, any time someone learns I have ten kids, they react with surprise and astonishment and a look on their face that easily translates as, “You’re crazy!” But every once in a while, there is someone who gets it and they say, “Wow, you are so blessed!” And I have to agree. Yes, I am. You have no idea how much. 

LARGE PROBLEMS vs Living Hope

The past couple months my husband and I have run into several rather LARGE PROBLEMS. And they have all seemed to follow the same pattern. LARGE PROBLEM makes itself known. Stress. Panic. Prayer. And then a possible solution appears. The solution is humongous. It would take God for this to happen. But there’s actually a small chance that it could happen. Soon. In the near future. And so we wait. This time with some hope. Then here comes the next LARGE PROBLEM and we go into the same pattern. Possible solution shows up. It’s going to take God for that to actually happen. But it could. Hope shows up again. And we wait. Next LARGE PROBLEM…etc. Right now I am waiting for three miraculous things to happen. None of the problems are solved yet. But there’s hope. They could get solved soon, in the very near future. And I continue to pray, throughout the day as I think about it, please Lord, let these solutions happen. 

It’s kind of a weird place to be. But I realized as I was thinking about it recently, that those possible solutions that may or may not happen did something for me. They took me out of a place of despair and put me back in a place of hope. And now that hope has come back, I am able to realize that even if none of those solutions happen, God will still take care of us and help us find a different way. 

Our church is doing a sermon series on 1 Peter, and yesterday we tackled 1 Peter 1:1-12. The part that stood out to me was the part about hope. 

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 1 Peter 1: 3-5

As a Christian we live in a kind of waiting period. We have an inheritance that we will one day finally realize, but for now we wait. But at the same time, we are living out our inheritance here on earth. Ephesians 1:13b-14 says:

When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.

Not only do we have an inheritance that we will realize when we die or when Jesus returns, but here on earth we have the Holy Spirit inside of us, teaching us, comforting us, leading us on this journey that we are on. 

I am now forty-five years old. I have four children who are eighteen and older. I have to admit, I’ve been feeling a bit old. (Yes, it’s relative! Everyone older than me thinks I’m still a young’un. ) But, I’ve been feeling older. While our culture tells you that not being young is the worse thing that can happen to you, I am finding that I don’t agree. I’ve now had forty-five years to see the faithfulness of God. And the more miracles you see, the more confident you become. I can tell you with all assurance that I live a life full of hope in God. 

It’s a living hope. Not “good vibes”. Not karma. Not faith in humanity. Not luck. It’s acknowledging that there is a God and he sent his son Jesus to take the punishment for our sins so that we could be right with him and be in relationship with him. It’s knowing that the Holy Spirit, part of the Three-In-One God, lives inside of me. It’s knowing that any trials that come my way will work towards shaping me to become more like Jesus. It’s knowing that my past and future are in his hands and if God is for me, who can be against me? It’s knowing that if I die today, I will be with Jesus in heaven, and I know that he will take care of my loved ones, even if I am no longer there to do so. It’s knowing that the LARGE PROBLEMS that come my way will not change my standing with God and will not take away my peace. And when it seems like the only answer is going to have to come in the shape of a miracle, I can nod and say, Ok, I know God does miracles, so I will wait and see how he decides to work in this situation. 

I don’t like LARGE PROBLEMS. They are uncomfortable. But they do a really good job of reminding me about hope and who my hope is in. And so I wait, not knowing how this will all play out, but confident that God has his hand on me and any LARGE PROBLEM that comes my way. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

It’s Thanksgiving morning and my heart is bubbling over with contentment and wonder. The last several days my mind has been taking a walk down memory lane and I’ve been really focused on God’s protection over me over the years, and how he used specific people in every phase of my life to offer me that protection and care. 

I think about past teachers who offered me friendship and encouragement…a certain Ms Iutzi comes to mind, my English teacher in Bethel, Alaska. She genuinely loved her students, opened her classroom as a hangout place, was always handing me new books to read, laughed at my jokes, and has continued to be an encouraging person in my life, even now, twenty-five years later. 

I think about my dear friend Louima who became my big brother in college and still is someone I count as family and someone I continue to learn from as he shares his wisdom in his writing. 

I think about my dear friend Telena who became my friend and mentor when I first moved to Tennessee. We’ve shared a lot of life together and her wisdom and common sense helped me a lot as I first started on the path of marriage and motherhood. 

I think about my dear friends Francie and Rob whose ministry has led me to a place of wholeness and healing in my life. 

I think about my pastors at our church who have offered counsel, prayer, and a helping hand over the years. 

My parents and my husband’s parents who have continued to be there for us through thick and thin. 

My friends on Facebook who take the time to write encouraging notes that brighten up my day. 

Strange as it might sound, those friendships represent to me God’s care for me. His protection. His sovereignty that knew I needed those people at those times to help carry me through. 

This is only the tiniest sample of people that have blessed me. I’m thankful for all of you. I’m thankful for God’s care for me. I’m thankful that we have this day to stop and name what has brought joy to our lives. 

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! May you have a blessed day!

Altar Call

I sit in the church pew.

My heart is heavy.

Life has been hard.

The service ends.

The call goes out.

Anyone who needs prayer, please come forward. 

I rise from my seat.

Make my way to the front.

Two saints step forward.

Head bowed, with tears, I try to explain my need.

Strong hands on my shoulders. 

Strong voices raised.

They come alongside me.

They pick up my burden.

They invite me to come with them,

And we enter the throne room.

They plea on my behalf, 

They entreat.

Together we lift our hands and say,

Help.

Please.

And I feel the Holy Spirit,

Washing over me.

I feel new strength,

Entering my heart.

I feel loved and seen.

Hope sparks again. 

We exchange hugs.

I turn and leave. 

Again reminded,

I am not alone.

Seeking His Face

I’ve been having a rough day. A rough week. A rough month. After moping around this morning, I decided I might as well set my problems aside and get to work on something. I needed a notebook to make some lists. I dug around in my drawer and found a notebook that was half-filled with writing. Well, I could use the unwritten half. No problem. Curious, I looked to see what I had written in the other half. I found sermon notes. I glanced through it, trying to figure out when I had written this down. I came upon these notes that were talking about Matthew 5 verses 1-6 and how we need a desperate hunger for God. And there were the words,

 

Empty Yourself.

 

And so I decided to just stop and do that.

 

I, Esther Heneise, do not have the strength, power or wisdom to live my life in a Holy manner. I do not have what it takes to run a household for twelve people. I do not have the stamina, passion, endurance, desire, to give everything I have to these ten children under my roof. I do not have the self-discipline, self-love, logic and wisdom to take care of my body in the way that I should. I allow my cravings to rule me. I do not have the attractiveness, passion, self-sacrifice, that is required to be a good wife to my husband. I do not have the time nor the desire to reach out to others outside of my home. I do not have the power to overcome depression. I don’t have energy to pursue adventure, excitement, change. I do not have the wisdom to know how to prepare for the future. I do not have the organizational skills required to keep up with every single detail of my and my family’s lives. 

 

Plain and simple, I don’t have what it takes to do this life. 

 

Then the next words were,

 

Fill Yourself. 

 

So I did.

 

Jesus lived the perfect life for me, because I couldn’t. Jesus has already paid the price for my slothfulness, my gluttony, my selfishness, my pride, my wrath, my envy. That heavy debt has been paid. Jesus has given me the Holy Spirit.  The power that raised Jesus from the dead is now inside of me. 

 

Plain and simple, it’s not my power that gets me through this life, it’s God’s power. 

 

Then came this question,

 

Are we seeking God’s face or do we only want to see his hands? 

 

I had to think about this.

Is my desire to know God better? Worship him? Serve him? Spend time with him? Or do I just want him to swoop in and solve all my problems and then go away again? 

 

Honestly, I would say that lately my prayers have been more “Show me your hands God!” than “Show me your face.” 

 

All this introspection lead me to the conclusion,

 

I need to repent. 

 

I’m sorry Lord. I have not been seeking you first. I have been seeking solutions and answers. 

 

“But Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and his Righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33

 

I’ve got to run after you first. The answers and solutions flow from that seeking. We don’t seek answers and solutions. We seek you. 

 

And so that is what I will do. 

 

Create in me a pure heart, O God,

    and renew a steadfast spirit within me. 

Do not cast me from your presence

    or take your Holy Spirit from me. 

Restore to me the joy of your salvation

    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. 

 

Psalm 51: 10-12