Esther’s Walmart Exercise Tips

How to Get Lots of Exercise on Your Next Trip to Walmart

Because, hey, we’re all about getting in shape, exercising, burning calories…right? So, here are some helpful pointers to ensure you get plenty of exercise on your next trip to Wally World!

1. Be really consistent with where you park. Quite a while ago I decided that I would just park in the same row every single time I went to the store. Even if it meant having to park at the farthest reaches of the parking lot. Since the row I picked is right in front of the main entrance, I usually do end up parking at the farthest spot possible from the store. But hey, at least I don’t have the agony of trying to remember where I parked.
2. Don’t bring a list. This is very important. Lists guarantee a certain orderliness to your trip which translates to minimal walking around the store. Not good. Don’t bring a list. Or, if you are like me, make a list, and then just forget to look at it.
3. Observe the contents of other people’s carts. This proved very useful for me. While perusing the peanut butter aisle I happened to see a woman’s cart with a large bag of cat litter. CAT LITTER!! I need cat litter! This meant I could then walk all the way to the very opposite corner of the store to get the forgotten cat litter.
4. Don’t take time to think things through. For example. I started at the back of the grocery section. Got eggs. Went all the way down the aisles till I was on the opposite end of the the store, was choosing out some hotdog buns when I remembered that I needed milk. Milk! (Right next to the eggs). Quick, rush back to the other side of the store. Then, when I was at the milk section, I suddenly remembered  that I needed peanut butter, which happens to be in the same aisle as the hotdog buns. Back to the hotdog bun aisle! Once I reached the hotdog bun aisle, I saw the previously mentioned cat litter, but also remembered I needed to get badminton birdies. Which means I now needed to walk to two more corners of the store. Yay! More exercise!
5. Don’t ask for help. This is good advice, but on the other hand, there really aren’t any salespeople around to ask anyway. On my search for badminton birdies I discovered the tennis aisle. Tennis rackets, tennis balls, pickle ball rackets, other various rackets of many sizes…no badminton rackets, or nets, or birdies. Around the corner was all kinds of baseballs, softballs, golf, table tennis, basketballs, volleyballs, etc. No badminton sets. Walked through a bunch of aisles filled with various sporting goods. No badminton sets. Oh wait, right over there! Lawn games. Of course. Badminton is going to be with the lawn games. There was a complete badminton set which comes with net, rackets, and birdies…nope, not what I want…There was a set of two rackets with two birdies…nope, not what I want, I already have rackets…Where’s the birdies? I distinctly remembered last year buying a little tube that was full of birdies. It does not seem to exist anymore. More walking around the aisles. Maybe they’ve stuck it somewhere else? After circling the sports section four or five times, I finally gave up. Guess I’ll order it on Amazon.
6. Look for the shortest line. The entire front of the store is filled with checkout lanes. Of course, usually only two or three lanes are open, and generally those lanes are not going to be next to each other. So, you walk all the way down to number two, but, hey, there’s at least five people ahead of you. What about number fourteen? Back down to the other side of the store. Ah, yes, only four people here! That was such a good decision to move lanes!

Couple caveats. Getting your exercise at Walmart means you will be prone to impulse buys. Like today when I happened to walk past this bin of beautiful, large, red, rubber balls. So beautiful! I remembered playing with those when I was a kid. My mind daydreamed a moment and I imagined my two and four year standing in the green grass, gently lobbing the ball back and forth. How nice! I bought the ball. I then brought it home where I faced six children who all wanted the ball. A Hunger-Games-type scenario then ensued, last man standing gets the ball. It wasn’t pretty. Impulse buys are dangerous.

So, there you go. I’ve got all kinds of advice to help you live a healthier lifestyle! Tune in next time for “Wanting to Increase Your Time in the Car? How to Become a Personal Chauffeur for Your Children”.